Lifestyle

Shopping Postpartum is a Comedy of Errors

I had a baby in August and I’m now in that odd clothing limbo where my maternity clothes are falling off and my pre-pregnancy clothes create a truly epic muffin top, if they button at all. So last night I went shopping for some transition clothes to wear here in this postpartum purgatory.

This is my third experience with buying post-baby transition clothes, and it’s always weird. Because first of all, you have no idea what size you even are. Also, due to the unchangeable nature of maternity clothes, you don’t even know what’s in style. That’s always the funniest part for me. Last night as I learned what non-pregnant people are wearing these days, I had to laugh at a few things.

First of all, apparently J. Lo is a clothing designer now, I had no idea. Her clothes are cute, but she sure is proud of them. Maybe her love don’t cost a thing, but her clothes sure do. $54 for a blouse I’m going to wear for three months? J. Lo, meet Cee Lo – forget you.

I guess rocker t-shirts are in, but I don’t have the arms or the abs for those. There also seems to be a strange fad I’m going to call “Horrible Laundry Accident Coture”. It consists of things like soft knit t-shirts that are pre-pilled from the dryer (thanks?). Here are a couple more winners from that category:

I call this one Oh Crap, I Sprayed Bleach on My T-Shirt:

And this one is It WAS Pink, Until I Washed it in the Dark Load by Mistake:

I refuse to buy these weird clothes, but someone must be buying them or they wouldn’t be on the rack. I guess I just still don’t understand fashion.

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